I headed into my very first ultrasound completely oblivious. I had never had any health problems and hadn’t even been in a hospital for anything other than to visit friends and relatives. The fact that I was 12 weeks along and they still couldn’t find a heartbeat with the Doppler didn’t trouble me. I was still so early along that they assured me it was probably just that they couldn’t pick it up. Just to be sure though they sent me for this early ultrasound and I lay there, waiting for them to say something …anything. I filled the silence with a question “If everything is ok, I can get a picture to take to my husband right?”. The tech nodded but didn’t really look away from the screen and kept clicking away. That’s when I started getting nervous and I asked “Does everything look alright?”. She said “No, I’m not totally certain but I’m not seeing what I should be seeing”. Being a novice I had no idea what that meant but when she went to get the doctor to come in and look, I figured it’s obviously not good.

When they told me that the fetus had actually stopped growing at 10 weeks and that I would have to go back to my doctor’s office so that they could book a DNC, I heard them tell me all this but I was numb. My husband met me at the doctor’s office and that was when I broke down but I had to pull it together to speak with the doctor. I had to wait a week for this surgery. Being someone who has never been in a hospital for herself, not only was I terrified waiting for this perfectly routine procedure, but I had to go a week knowing that the life that we had tried to create was no longer living inside me. It wasn’t a fetus to me…it was our baby and so I still didn’t drink coffee, or alcohol or any of the stuff they suggest you not do during pregnancy. I felt I needed to honor that being and grieved the loss.

Everything went fine and 9 months later I was pregnant again but gone was the naïve girl who shouted to the rooftops that we were expecting. We didn’t get excited, we got anxious. I went for another early ultrasound and laid there holding my breath until the tech turned on the sound and I heard that tiny amazing beat that was her heart.  We allowed ourselves a little bit of happiness then but I still bought a Doppler I could use at home, every night and even when she started to move I still used it. I thought that sound was the most beautiful thing I could ever hear.

When I talked with friends it amazed me how many women had gone through similar experiences but until one person shares, it’s too personal or too painful to speak about. I know what I went through is not as painful as what some women endure later in pregnancy or after baby is born. I’m not oblivious anymore, I’m filled with reverence & love. I wouldn’t have my daughter if that first pregnancy had gone to term, or maybe I would, who can say but regardless I feel like I am more in awe of the life we can create than I was previously. I have a bit more respect for the whole experience and didn’t take one single second of my pregnancies for granted. That was one of those life altering experiences that has made me who I am today and I’m thankful to that little being we fondly refer to as Baby 1.

Christine Reeve is a WAHM with two children, 2years old & 4 months. She balances her days between work, playdates, Gymboree, J’Adore, and other fun activities. 

Image: morrissey | Flickr.com

I am proud to say that I am a mother of two beautiful daughters; Anaveiya, just over two and Gabriela, just about seven months. When I was pregnant with my first daughter I was given all sorts of helpful advice, words of wisdom and some not so helpful advice, but advice none the less. Even as my daughter approached her first birthday I still occasionally received advice solicited and unsolicited.  I was among the first of my inner circle of friends to have a second child; apart from my cousin who has four, but her youngest is seven and I have relatives and know plenty of other moms who have two or more children and I do not remember hearing any words of wisdom or advice from them. I had to stumble along and find my footing as a mother of two, so I thought I would share some of the lessons that I learned along the journey so far.

The most important thing I can share is inclusion; include not only your husband or partner, but any and all children and your pets too and start right from the beginning. I cannot speak to cats, birds or other animals, but we have a 3 year old chocolate lab and we included her in as much of the process as we could. Once I found out I was pregnant we started talking to our daughter about babies and that mommy was going to have a baby growing in her tummy, she thought this was great! Ana would kiss my tummy and talk to it saying simple things like hi and morning etcetera.

Ana started coming to the doctor appointments right from the beginning and our doctor was amazing and allowed Ana to ‘help’ during the appointments. Ana would try to help the doctor while he used the Doppler to find the heart beat and would try to use the measuring tape on my stomach to measure the growth of the baby. At our ultrasound appointments the technicians were very accommodating showing Ana and communicating to Ana in simple terms what they were doing, where the baby is and the different parts of the baby.

Apart from the doctor visits we also included Ana in the preparation for the arrival of the new baby from helping to pick the car seat (we picked the seat and then we allowed her to have a vote for the color or design pattern) and stroller to helping ready the nursery, picking names and being part of my “baby bump” photo shoot.

We picked a Peg Perrego bucket car seat and it came in too many colors and patterns that every time we asked Anaveiya which one she liked best she would change her mind. Anaveiya and I would look at the pictures on the website and Ana would go “ooohhh mom that one”. I would say a comment like; “oh that’s a nice color” or “are you sure honey? That green looks like squished peas.”  In turn Ana would say something like; “mmmm I love peas!” or “It is so pretty” or “No mommy it like cados!” (As in avocados, her favorite green vegetable) I believe that it is important to talk to our toddlers as people and not that crazy, squeaky baby talk and to have an actual conversation with them; my husband and I would ask Ana after she would pick a color or pattern “why do you think your new sister will like this one?” Occasionally we would get a smart aleck comment back like, “Because I do” or “Why not?” But we would also get some great responses from, “it’s like your eyes mommy my sister love them like me” or “flowers will make her smile when sad or has a owie.”

It is truly amazing what a child will say and what they think, believe and will share with us in our lives. Share with your child and include them in your life and remember what affects you will in one way or another either directly or indirectly trickle down and affect your child too.

By Amanda Menjivar – A 29 year old Edmonton mom of two who spends her days balancing caring for her family while providing administration support for her husband’s company while it continues to expand. She enjoys being physically active whether it is chasing he kids, attending a session of boot camp, or getting in a run or a round of golf.

I’ll admit it.  I was skeptical about the specialty spa with massage and esthetic services tailored towards expectant mothers.  I worried that I was cheating on my regular massage therapist.  I thought the (slightly) higher cost wouldn’t necessarily equate to a better experience than what I would find at my regular spa.  Boy was I wrong!

In the name of research, I grudgingly decided I would have to put all of my concerns aside and sacrifice my achy, 35-week pregnant self in the name of objective journalism.  I booked myself an appointment for a one-hour, full body prenatal massage at Sweet Momma Spa, winner of Urban Infant’s Mama’s Choice Award for Best Prenatal Massage.  And now I know why this fine establishment was crowned victorious.

My massage with Karin was an absolutely euphoric experience.  That may sound exaggerated and cliché, but it honestly doesn’t describe how much I enjoyed my appointment.  From the bottled water offered as I checked in at the front desk, to being shown the restroom without having to ask so that I might relieve my pea sized bladder before the massage began, it became very clear that the staff grasp in very real terms the needs of the pregnant population.  This became crystal clear at the end of my appointment when Karin gently wiped the slippery massage oil from my feet and put my socks on for me!  It’s obviously all about the details at Sweet Momma.

And the special touches didn’t end there.  The massage itself is done on a specially designed waterbed with many pillows that allowed me to feel fully supported and completely relaxed.  This was so much better than the massage bed with the opening through which your belly hangs awkwardly used at other spas.  I would have paid just to lie on that bed and enjoy a luxurious nap, but there was more to come.

During the massage, a warm compress was used to relieve aches in my low back and cramped legs while Karin massaged out any other kinks.  Throughout the massage, Karin taught me three different pillow placements I could use at home for sleeping, relaxing, and even for breastfeeding after baby is born.  Not only that, but she taught me a stretch that my husband can help with at home in order to relieve some of the pressure on my pelvis.  The combination of relaxation and education was perfectly balanced, and I left feeling soothed and excited to use the tools I’d learned to make myself comfortable at home during the last few weeks of my pregnancy.  I can tell the peanut approved too, kicking it up and showing a level of elation usually seen only after I’ve eaten a DQ Blizzard.

So even if you are fortunate enough to have a partner who will rub your back and feet on a daily basis, I would recommend indulging in this specialty spa experience at least once during your pregnancy.  Growing a tiny human being deserves rewarding.  Plus, it has to be good for that tiny human being’s growth and development if mom is as relaxed as she can be, right?

Shelby Quinlan, First Baby Due: Shelby is a teacher preparing for the arrival of her first child in May.  Having always been a planner and researcher by nature, Shelby is frantically studying all there is to know about pregnancy, childbirth, and life with baby in Edmonton.  Some might say all of this planning can lean toward the obsessive, especially when they see that her birth plan contains no less than 14 contingency plans and three appendices.  She looks forward to sharing what she’s learned with you, including information on everything from prenatal classes to choosing a doula and making a baby registry.